Day 3: Christine Columbus has Crashed

Tuesday

I am starting to get nervous.  I've only been able to accomplish a quarter of the fantastic list you've all helped me put together.  I fear I will certainly need another trip to do them.

I am sitting in my air conditioned room at the Red Roof Inn in Southborough, MA, a suburb of Boston.  It's hot enough to crack me open and fry my guts on a sidewalk.  All the phones are down after a gigantic thunderstorm and I couldn't be more thankful that I didn't arrange to go camping.

I left the flea bag Anchorage Inn this morning around 11 and jumped onto the highway without first finding breakfast.  Well, 45 minutes later and there was still nothing on the way, so I got desperate and turned off in Haverhill for another McShitty lunch.  If I see another Mcdonald's, I will kill Ronald myself.

I decided to stop in to the bank to get more $$$ for my stay at the motel tonight ($64, not bad and still way better than last night.)  I also saw a Target nearby and decided that maybe it was time to try to do 36 and 38.  I gathered some questionable sex related items in my cart... 3 pregnancy tests, KY jelly, a pleasure pack of condoms, and some other items I'm not sure of what they are used for, and walked around the store.  I followed an older lady for a while waiting for my perfect moment to slip a jumbo pack of pecker jackets into her cart.  No deal.  She held onto that cart like she was Leonardo DiCaprio hanging onto the raft in The Titanic.  I almost had another lady cornered in the children's section, but there were too many workers nearby for me to work my stealth.  Drats!  The store also had only about 12 people in there and if I had been caught red-handed, there would've been no easy escape.  I saw a Walmart on my way out today so I will try again tomorrow.

I did manage to set up a nice little safe sex display in Target's baby section.  And I did get a picture.  This didn't prove to be much of a challenge so I look forward to my time at Walmart tomorrow.
I left Target and was on my way to Southborough for my 2 nights at Red Roof Inn.  I checked in and checked out my room at the back of the hotel.  As soon as I opened my car door, a group of young fellas was eyeing me, making me a bit nervous, and commenting on my suitcase.  They wanted to know what the city was on the front.  It had the Statue of Liberty on it.  Really?  You really don't know what city that is in?  Needless to say, I changed my room to the front of the hotel nearest the office.  I don't need to worry about hoodlums, thanks, as friendly as they tried to be.

The rest of the evening was relaxing as I walked 10 million miles at the Natick mall... a gigantic enourmous mall that's probably 10 times bigger than our puny Champlain Place.  I harrassed the girls at MAC, Sephora, Lord & Taylors makeup counter, and then went to the Cheesecake Factory for a much too late supper.  I was excited to go, as it is Sheldon's favorite restaurant and we had gone there once before and the nachos we had were great... but this time, my meal was tasteless and even though the waiter had brought me out a lunch portion, it was still too large.  I am finding this to be a trend lately... huge portions.  There are small Indonesian families that could share just one of the CF's meals.
Maybe I'm just tired from the night before, or maybe I'm just needing a little bit of R&R... but I am worn out from my adventure already and I haven't even gotten half the list done.  Or maybe it's just an excuse to get to go on another adventure?

You decide.  I'm going to bed.